After spending the last 17 days at my sister’s bedside as she suffered a long and tortured death in a busy oncology ward and thankfully, finally, in a peaceful hospice. When people say “we would not let our dog suffer like this” I am now inclined to agree.

Following 6 months of debilitating chemotherapy and a casual dismissal from treatment with the words “there is nothing more we can do”, she had returned home in turmoil. Physically, spiritually and psychologically, she rapidly declined in health resulting in a seizure which left her hospitalised. As I sat with her long term partner, Barry and her daughter Deborah to try and help her through the final stages of her life, the worst days of her 64 years, she turned to me and said “this must be the worst bloody death in the whole world.” Despite all the soothing energy healing, and round the clock attention we as her family lavished on Pauline, I was inclined to agree, knowing only too well that there are many more who suffer and will continue to suffer in such ways.

Something needs to change and WE the relatives and friends need to DO something to make the medical world change and adapt. No throwing away babies with bath water- there will be cases where help was given and lives saved – BUT HOW MANY? Does this compensate for taking a risk with a human life that “may perhaps” be cured by such a poisonous and invasive treatment. Does this make up for the dear head resting on my shoulder as she is helped with basic human toileting by her daughter whilst she cries “let me go now please”.

Does it explain people lying in hospital beds so weak they cannot even call out for a nurse to simply hold their hand whilst brusque young doctors arrive to “talk at them” about some new “surgical technique” that “may” help alleviate their “discomfort”. This to a dying lady who was left alone whilst yet more chemo was poured into her system - all she wanted was rest and love - I know because she called me across to tell me before she died. Nurses it seems do not have time for TLC any more. People are bodies to be washed and fed and emptied, time is short, wards are understaffed, care is in short supply from “carers”.

Does it explain wonderful new technologies being used in wards where patients are being “treated” in the early stages of cancers with chemo at the same time as people are dying after failed treatment. The electronic voice screams out “stand clear of the body” even though shock treatment is not about to be given. When I begged for this terrifying piece of kit to be removed from my sister’s body and no more “life saving” drugs to be pumped into her wracked frame, at last a wonderful Asian doctor who seemed to empathetically respect human dignity listened to me and instructed TLC only to be given. Thank goodness we were allowed to stay around the clock or Pauline too would have been dying alone without love or comfort just like the many others in neighbouring beds.

We played music, sang, massaged her with essential oils and gave her peaceful energy soothing treatments for which she smiled “thank you “ or “that’s lovely” in spite of the noise and chaos of the busy ward. She also had chance to clear her troubled spirit of old traumas that had been terrifying her for years thanks to the perceptive eye of a trained Macmillan nurse who came to visit the ward as a hospice link. Thank God for Jean Fullerton a dedicated professional who works with heart and soul. Thanks also to Hospice Chaplain David Flower from the St Elizabeth Hospice in Ipswich for stepping outside the box to help Pauline with her devastating fear of death.

Pauline suffered terribly from what appears to have been inappropriate chemotherapy treatment for a neuro-endocrine tumour. Before her death, at her request, I promised that I would write about the treatment that she had finally decided was “wrong” and broadcast her anguish at that final consultation with an oncology consultant who “threw her out of cancer school” (her words) with a “failed” certificate.

The astounding lack of compassion and support from the oncologist instantly removed all hope in a callous and cold manner. No counselling was offered, no comfort other than a cup of tea. All wrong, if not criminal, after a 2.5 hour wait for the consultant in a waiting room full of new hopefuls about to start treatment. And after the lukewarm tea, the exorbitant car park fee to be found, with shaking hand and the long lonely drive home with her equally traumatised partner.

In her last moments of lucid speech, days before she died, Pauline made it clear that she didn’t want anyone to go through what she had. I can only hope that what I have learnt, witnessing the ways of the medical profession and comforting my sister during the agony of her final days may help others with their medical decisions and life choices. Pauline wanted me to tell her story, she hoped that it would help people to talk about their illnesses with loved ones and families in a more honest and open way. The prospect of death, no matter when it arrives, NEEDS DISCUSSION in love and honesty.

Whilst there are some in the medical profession who already work holistically, there are many who do not and so we must remember that we can take and often trust medical treatment but WE HAVE A RIGHT TO LOOK AT Mind, Body and Spirit in any treatment we receive. WE ARE OUR OWN MASTERS and can take control of our own lives gleaning as much information as we need from a variety of sources.

For now, I wish to state that CHEMOTHERAPY NEED NOT BE AN INEVITABLE TREATMENT FOR ALL CANCERS. Statistical evidence is inconclusive on the value, most sources of information state it has a less than 5% overall success rate, globally. Evidence suggests that many people who take the non chemo route live as long as those who poison their already weakened bodies with chemotherapy drugs which destroy their immune system.

WE ARE MUCH MORE THAN JUST A PHYSICAL BODY!

Once we accept the inevitability of all life ending in physical death and become willing to not only think but talk about the only predictable thing in life - death, we free ourselves to live more fully in the moment. So many people have an inherent fear of the “unknown”, of death, that they allow their spirit/soul to leave this physical earth without adequate preparation for themselves or their loved ones. My sister, unable to acknowledge her own mortality, died intestate, a situation that clearly distressed her as she grappled to make clear her wishes from her hospital bed. It seemed such a shame to all of us that she expended what little energy she had at the end on such matters. It is too sad to express that Pauline, like so many people, repressed her own needs in order to appease others, her entire life. She was so much bigger than the life she led and whilst she enjoyed many many moments of happiness, she never confronted her demons until the pain wracked end of life.

The simple fact is that we should be more aware when healthy and vibrantly involved in life of our own needs and desires. When we learn more about our lives and our inner self we can cope so much more easily with not only everyday stress and strains but with deep personal sadness or crisis. A “spiritually aware” and “empowered” life will give us more fun and happiness and when we face death, this sense of personal fulfillment will make our exit from the world more comforting, knowing that we had enjoyed each day of this wonderful life.

LIFE IS FOR LIVING BUT WE WILL DIE ONE DAY
That is, OUR SOULS WILL PASS ON FROM OUR PHYSICAL BODY.

I have discovered that using Cosmic healing power to help people to contact both their own inner energies and the powerful energy of the Universe proves to be a truly enlightening experience. Light workers/ energy healers all over the world working alongside medical professionals, have encouraged many to come to terms with the natural pain experienced in illness. This holistic approach to death helps them rediscover a beautiful inner soul with additional resources from the Cosmos- THE God of your heart (with or without a personal religious preference) including the Angelic realms.

My sister told me she saw a big white angel during her final days of lucid speech “Oh it’s Gabriel”! she said with joy in her voice- “ Oh are you here for me? – That’s lovely!” She sounded truly grateful and humble as her voice continually communicated with an unseen source somewhere in her energy field. (some will call it rambling delirium – but was it?) We could not see what she saw but we certainly felt a special energy field around her in this terrible time for all of us.

Ok, so call it “spooky stuff” , “mumbo jumbo” or any other term that those fearful souls call things that they cannot see or fully understand but do remember the people who first said that the earth was round were also condemned with such ignorant labels.

Too much worldwide research and scientifically written evidence is now available (although often suppressed by the fearful) to discount that the soul continues. It seems evident that we need to come to terms with this to fully enjoy a balanced life in our bodies while we are in them.

Heal our minds and we can heal and balance our bodies TODAY.

Watch this space................................................................

This page will be updated as information, time and statistics become available.